ad · dict · ed

Why do we fast?

What really is the point in starving ourselves? or DEPRIVING ourselves of what we love MOST!!

Well,  it is necessary if we want more of God and less of us.

We tend to focus on the lack of food, instead, the purpose of fasting should be to take our eyes off the things of this world or even closer, OURSELVES and to focus completely on God and what He really wants from us. Fasting is a way to show to God, and to ourselves, that we are serious about our relationship with Him. Fasting helps us gain a new perspective and a renewed reliance upon God.  It helps us draw closer to Him. Fasting changes us NOT God.

Matthew 6:16-18 declares, “When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show men they are fasting. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to men that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”

During this time of fasting, the Lord has ministered to my heart in numerous ways about many things.  But one thing in particular were my ADDICTIONS. Now before I tell you about my addictions I thought I would define what it means to be addicted to something.

ad·dict·ed/əˈdiktid/

Adjective:

Physically and mentally dependent on a particular substance, and unable to stop taking it without incurring adverse effects. Enthusiastically devoted to a particular thing or activity.

Now that we know and understand what it means, here were my addictions:

1. yelling
2. screaming
3. grinding my teeth (in anger)

Yes, I know, strange, huh?!  How can I be addicted to yelling, screaming and grinding my teeth in anger?  Well, lets look at the definition.  I physically and mentally depended on yelling (screaming, grinding my teeth) to discipline my children and get them to listen to me. I was unable to stop and saw that my children tuned me out and became even more defiant.  I saw in them mini-me's yelling at each other.  

When the Lord ministered this to me I NEVER thought that this could be an addiction.  I had to really think about it. I thought about people who are addicted to alcohol or drugs;  they depend on these things, thinking that they have control over it, when really they are being controlled by it.  They believe that they can't "feel" a certain way unless they have it.  

So I realized, I had been letting my anger control me.  Anything that I did not like - BOOM - it was like fireworks!  If I DID NOT YELL  (scream, grind my teeth) - I DID NOT HAVE CONTROL!! "I DIDN'T FEEL IN CHARGE!!"

The Lord is so AWESOME!  When He points something out He doesn't just point His finger and laughs, He gently shows us how we need to be and what we need to change.  So as a loving Father, He brought me to the book of Galatians chapter 5.

Living by the Spirit’s Power ¹⁶ So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. ¹⁷ The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions. ¹⁸ But when you are directed by the Spirit, you are not under obligation to the law of Moses. ¹⁹ When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, ²⁰ idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division,²¹ envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God. ²² But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³ gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! ²⁴ Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. ²⁵ Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives. ²⁶Let us not become conceited, or provoke one another, or be jealous of one another. 

 The Lord gives me the answer right in His word and gently shows me that there needs to be a change.  Change isn't something that will happen just by me reading His word. First, I had to ask for forgiveness (to God and my children).  This is always hard because I just want to give the excuse "I am the adult and parent", but my children are God's children also.  He gave them to me to watch over them and teach them who He is.  With my outbursts of anger and selfish ways of living - "it's my way or the highway" - how can I tell them that I serve God and show them who He is? So forgiveness is really IMPORTANT and crucial for there to be change.  Second,  I have to pray and ask the Holy Spirit to dwell in me.  I have to meditate on His Word.  I have to memorize scripture and be RADICAL - all for God to receive HONOR and GLORY - He deserves the BEST of ME.

James 3:2- 12 

² Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way. ³ We can make a large horse go wherever we want by means of a small bit in its mouth. ⁴ And a small rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go, even though the winds are strong. ⁵ In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches.
   But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. ⁶ And the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself.
 ⁷ People can tame all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and fish, ⁸ but no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison. ⁹ Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God. ¹⁰ And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right! ¹¹ Does a spring of water bubble out with both fresh water and bitter water? ¹² Does a fig tree produce olives, or a grapevine produce figs? No, and you can’t draw fresh water from a salty spring.

  
  Our tongue can do amazing things being such a tiny muscle.  The word of God says, Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God. This truly was like a knife to my heart.  I minister in song with my husband at our church.  When I read that I said, "Lord, forgive me".  How can I be yelling and screaming at my kids Monday thru Saturday and then Sunday expect you to receive my worship?  I have decided, AWAY with the OLD ME.  I have CHOSEN to use my tongue (mouth and words) to PRAISE, WORSHIP, HONOR AND GLORIFY GOD.  I have CHOSEN to use my tongue (mouth and words) to ENCOURAGE, LIFT UP, SPEAK LOVE, SPEAK TRUTH and SPEAK VICTORY in my life, my children's lives and my family.

My NEW ADDICTIONS:

1. LOVE
2. JOY
3. PEACE
4. PATIENCE
5. KINDNESS
6. GOODNESS
7. FAITHFULNESS
8. GENTLENESS
9. SELF CONTROL!!!!
10. SPEAK THE WORD OF GOD!!

MY PRAYER:

Heavenly Father, forgive me for allowing and bringing negativity, anger and discord into my home.  Lord, I belong to Jesus Christ, I nail the passions and the desires of my sinful nature to his cross and crucify them there. Lord I want to live by the Spirit.  Help me to follow the Spirit's leading in every part of my life.  Produce in me the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control.   Lord receive my praise and worship.  May it be pleasing to your ears.  May it be like a fragrant aroma. 

Lord, help me to show my children who you are with my way of living, my way of speaking and my way of acting.  

Lord during this fast, CHANGE ME.  Not for this season but for good!  

I give you all the honor and all the glory - for you are WORTHY!  I love you Lord.

Many Blessings

Love,

Monica

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I call myself THE GENERAL

Before I had children I knew that I wanted to raise them to become respectful boys and/or girls. Children that loved the Lord with all their heart, yet at the same time respected, obeyed and loved me, their mother.  I remember in those times how I would watch from afar how other mothers - mothered.  And many times I caught myself saying jokingly - "I will love my children, but they will call me the General".  After saying that I would have to of course explain myself.  "I will love them but they will know that when I mean something I will not have to say it twice", and so on and so on.

Little did I know the moment I held my first son, my heart melted! All those thoughts of how I would discipline my children vanished.  I fell in total complete love.  How could this beautiful baby defy me, go against any thing I ask of him and how could I speak to him with such words, tone - voice?

My son at 7 months, I became pregnant again, and miscarried at 6 weeks.  When he turned 10 months the Lord blessed us with another beautiful boy.  When my second son was 11 months I became pregnant again and miscarried at 8 weeks.  After he was one,  I became pregnant with our first and only beautiful daughter.  Six and a half months into my pregnancy I went into labor.  She was with us for 3 days and then went to be with the Lord (this will be another post).  My previous miscarriages were very difficult to deal with. Many times I had felt like "WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME??!!"  BUt when my daughter passed away it was extremely difficult for me, my husband - our family.  I emotionally was a wreck.  I cared for nothing.  Not myself, my husband nor my children - all I wanted was my baby girl with me.

After a time had passed and I "gave things to the Lord", "prayed about it", you name it - I did it; I saw in me this "GENERAL" that began to appear that I so confessed many times again and again.  I began to have "GENERAL" like attitudes  and a TONE in my voice - "my way or the highway!" attitude .  My sons were my soldiers and I had to "train them up".  Every thing that I said and did was mainly out of frustration.  I yelled, screamed (yes they are two different things!), put down, the list can go on.

I JUST WANT TO SAY: YES I AM A CHRISTIAN and YES I LOVE THE LORD WITH ALL MY HEART!!

With that said,  I believe about a year after my daughter passed I came across  this beautiful blog named A Wise Woman Builds her Home.  For me God had put Ms. June Fuentes, without her even knowing, in my path.  I devoured everything she wrote on womanhood, motherhood, how to treat your husband, your children....  I even printed it and put the post I loved into a binder.  I printed things and taped them on my wall.  I wanted daily reminders of this type of woman that she wrote about that I longed to be.

So I set out on this new journey in discovering the woman I longed to be.  The woman that God calls me to be.  I no longer wanted to yell at my sons in frustration, but to treat them with love and tenderness.  I wanted them to obey me, not because I yelled louder then a second ago or because I threatened that I would send them to their room or take their favorite toy away.  I wanted to speak to them in the way that the Lord would if He was right in front of me and I am being disobedient.

Today,  I start on a something that I have done before, but today I do with more conviction and understanding.  I start my 40 day fast (up until Easter).  The purpose of this fast for me is to shed every part of THE GENERAL in me.

The word of the Lord says,

The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.  ~ Proverbs 18:21

I have been using my words not to build myself up or my family, but to destroy the beauty of who God wants me to be.  My words at many times have been spoken in anger, bitterness, complaining and defeat.  Today I turn tear the page out of my book and I no longer look back to that GENERAL.  Today I will speak in love, I will speak blessings, I will compliment, I WILL CONFESS VICTORY!

As the wife and mother of my home the first tools that God gave me to build up my home were not my spatulas, iron, wooden spoon, dish washer, calendar, organization books,  BUT MY WORDS.  I can REACH MORE, TOUCH MORE and CHANGE MORE with my words.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. ~ Ephesians 4:29

My words should build up my husband, my sons, my home.  The word says, "Do not let any UNWHOLESOME TALK come out of your mouths", UNWHOLESOME is something that is rotten,  something that has no nutrients, nothing beneficial.  My words need to be WHOLESOME, HEALTHY and UPLIFTING!

This is my prayer:

Lord, help me be a virtuous and capable wife to my husband.

That he may trust me and that I may greatly enrich his life.

That I may bring him good and not harm all the days of my life.

Everything I do, I do for the well being of my family and with a joyful heart. 

That I may be a good steward of all that you bless my home with. 

Open my eyes to the needs around me.  May my days be filled with sowing.

Help me to trust in You all the days of my life; that I may not look to the left or the right for the provision of my home, but to keep my eyes and heart focused on You - my sole PROVIDER!

When I wake in the morning, I will clothe myself to bring honor and glory to you.  

All that you have given me - talents, gifts, calling - I give you all the honor and glory!

I will look to the future with no fear of what is to come, because YOU, LORD ARE MY SHEPHERD. 

In you I have all that I need. I will rest in You.  

Renew my strength daily and guide me along right paths and besides peaceful streams. 

May I bring honor to your name.  

Clothe me with strength and dignity

I will enjoy everyday and look to my future with hope.

When I speak, may my words be wise and my instruction be with kindness.

Help me to watch over all that enters and leaves my home.  

All that you have blessed me with, I will care over those things and not be careless with them. 

Help me to not procrastinate or be lazy.

Lord, help me to not want perfection but to please you in all that I do all and all that I am.

I love you Lord.

Monica


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Devotions for The Proverbs 31 Girl

Holding on to Momma

My heart longs to have my beautiful daughter with me. And at the same time my utmost desire is for the Lord's will to always take first place in my life.  I know that Gabriella is with Him in His glory.  Because Gabriella is such a big part of my life I decided to dedicate this page to her and all the mommas around the world, whose desire it is to bring up their daughters to become a Proverbs 31 woman.

I don't believe to expect perfection but a heart after God's heart.  To guide our daughter's to the One who is their true example and who gives them their true value.  My desire is to give resources and encouragement on this page to mommas, to not give up and to be the best momma for your daughter(s).  I want to also provide devotionals and activities that you can do with your daughters. These devotionals will enable you to have a special time that you can spend in teaching her the word of God and developing a life long relationship with her.

I pray that you will return to be encouraged, blessed and print some great resources to enjoy with your daughters!

Many Blessings

Monica

God's LOVE hasn't RUN DRY...

The night is ending and it was a beautiful day.  Spent the day with my boys making cards for mima and pipa, went out to lunch with mima and pipa; came home, made my husband one of his favorite meals... it was a day of showing love.

Well all of this had me thinking about LOVE.  And as I thought and thought God led me right to him.   I had read recently a comment about how for some it's Valentines Day and for others it's Tuesday.  I actually laughed when I read it but then I realized, there are many people that can't stand this day for the very reason of showing, giving, acting in love.  I don't believe its because they don't want to, I believe it's because they hurt.

The more I thought about this I got to the point where I asked myself, "am I LOVING OUT LOUD?"  "Do I share God's love to others?"  And not just to my family and friends, but those around me that I don't know, those I come in contact with at the supermarket or the mall.  Do I come to someones aid when they are lashing out at another person because the price is wrong on an item!! Do I share God's love? His unconditional love?  His son? Jesus? to the world around me?

When I heard this song sung by these two beautiful women of God from The Better Mom I was blessed, because I know I am loved by God, because of His grace and mercy.  BUT, what about those who don't know who their awesome Creator is?  And what about those who do know and have just forgotten or walked away?

So even though Valentine's Day has come to an end, 
God's Love hasn't.  

My prayer:

Lord, help me to not be selfish with your Love.

Help me to share your love and not be ashamed , because you were not ashamed of me when you sent your Son to die on that cross for my sins.  

You just loved me.  

I want praise your name and lift it up, 

that all those around me come to know you.  

Be glorified Lord!  Every knee and tongue confess your GREAT NAME!!

Fill those empty hearts with your LOVE... 

Use me for a GREAT WORK... to LIFT YOUR NAME ON HIGH!!

Amen

I pray that you are blessed as you watch this video:

YOUR GREAT NAME - YouTube - Ruth and Kathleen from The BETTER Mom Blog

Monica



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Proverbs 31 Thrusday

Being Sharpened while Sharpening Arrowheads...

Last night my oldest son had played his first song on the piano... I couldn't believe my little five year old had learned this beautiful worship song!! I think the most beautiful part of watching him play was his innocence.  Pure worship, nothing in between him and giving worship to the Lord. 

As parents its pure joy and also God speaking to us in many ways.  I have to say last night would have never been if my husband wouldn't have dedicated all the time he had with him (4 months) and put up with the whining that came with it.  My husband pressed on and did not give up!  He knew what our son had, he knew God gave him talent and he believed that he could do it.  And he played!  And his teacher was so proud of him!! And we are so proud of him!

Well last night as my husband and I were talking over how well he did and we were reminded of how God has put these precious arrows in our hands. As parents our children are arrow with blunt heads and we have to sharpen them with love, discipline and dedication.  Dedicating time to our children and letting them know in word and action "I am not giving up on you!  You can do it!", will take that arrow even further. 

Our Heavenly Father says this to us even today.  Every time we want to give up or we think we are not capable or even called in parenting, homeschooling or even in our personal life, this is what He says to us:

"That is why we never give up.  Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed everyday. For our present troubles are small and wont last very long.  Yet they produce for us glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever!  So we dont look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen.  For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever."
~2 Corinthians 4:16-18~

"Those who know your name trust in you, for you, O Lord, do not abandon those who search for you." ~Psalm 9:10~

"Those who trust in the Lord are as secure as Mount Zion; they will not be defeated but will endure forever." ~Psalm 125:1~ 

 " Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.  Children born to a young man are like arrows in a warrior's hand"  ~Psalm 127:3-4~

As we sharpen our arrow heads, let us go to the One who can help us and at the same time sharpen us... we are His children!

For His Glory and By His Grace,

Monica

Moments to Remember

I truly believe that I have been blessed to be able to be a SAHM and in addition to homeschool our boys!!  I think our greatest moments are just being together.  I love to see them grow and learn; and when they grasp something and a light goes on, they just yell "I got it Mommy!"  LOVE IT!!!

BUT, I have to say I LOVE when my husband is with us.  It's not often he gets to stay home but when he does, he is able to see the fruit of our labor... and we get to all spend time together!!  Exploring new things or going on a field trip with daddy is definitely a moment to remember.

Hard at work... but enjoying it!!

Loves to paste!!

Nothing like learning from daddy

They are brothers and best friends!

Playing with Jonathan...before his AAR lesson...ah the beauty of homeschooling!