I Am his EZER KENEGDO

When I came home today, someone had left a message in my mailbox on an index card.  So I immediately called my husband to let him know.  We shared a couple a words over  the phone, giggled back and forth, (I was putting the dishes in the dishwasher, just put the boys down for a nap and as I was talking to him I was thinking of the thousand of things I had to do in the house!) and he said to me, "do me a favor and....".  These words triggered something in me that made me snap.  I thought - another thing to do!!!  I tried to hold back but did not do a great job at it.  I let it go.  I said everything that I needed.  And then said to him, "okay, I have to go." My husband must have been thinking, "what did I do?  what did I say?" Poor guy, he seriously did not see it coming!


As I hung up the phone I started thinking, "what else does he want me to do?  why can't he put .... away?  why am I the one who always has to pick... up?"  "AM I HIS KEEPER or HELPER? AM I HIS MAID, SECRETARY, PERSONAL ASSISTANT or WIFE?? (NO, I did not say this to him, but I did yell these thoughts in my mind). Quickly and gently the Lord stopped me from going on.


And yet again, my heavenly Father had to teach me another lesson in what it is to be a wife, the suitable helper that he created me to be for my husband.


If you haven't read or heard the messages on the book "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldridge, I highly recommend it.  When I heard these messages (on iTunes) and read more in-depth (the book) the Lord opened my eyes to who I am to Him and to my husband.  BUT, of course, as human as I am - I forget!  PRAISE the Lord, that He is there to remind me of what He has already tried to teach me.


Many time I have asked and said, what is my role in this relationship, this union? And when I think of the word "role", I quickly think, "well I am his wife, I submit to him, I cook for him, I clean for him, etc." Recently the Lord corrected me.  I should not be asking "what role", but what was I designed for in this relationship? 


When God created Eve, He was not creating someone to only pick up after Adam and help out with feeding the animals!  She was created with a LARGER PURPOSE.
The Word of God says in Psalm 139

You have searched me, Lord,and you know me.

You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.
 You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.  
Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. 
 You hem me in behind and before,and you lay your hand upon me.
 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit?⁷     Where can I flee from your presence?
 If I go up to the heavens  you are there;  if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,    if I settle on the far side of the sea,
 even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, 
I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. 

Your eyes saw my unformed body;all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, God!     How vast is the sum of them!  Were I to count them,  they would outnumber the grains of sand —when I awake, I am still with you.

He knows everything about me and my life.  He knew I would enter into union with my husband.  THAT WAS HIS PLAN.  Therefore, He created me to be to my husband what Eve was to Adam - A suitable helper.


Suitable: Right or appropriate for a particular person, purpose, or situation; fit - appropriate - proper - fitting - convenient


In Genesis, chapter 2 verse 18, God reveals to us, the purpose of our design.


Here are excerpts from the book/messages taken that I would like for us to focus on:

• When God creates Eve, he calls her an ‘ezer kenegdo’. “It is not good for a man to be alone, I shall make him [an ezer kenegdo]” (Gen 2:18). Hebrew scholar Robert Alter, who has spent years translating the book of Genesis, says that this phrase is “notoriously difficult to translate.” The various attempts we have in English are “helper” or “companion” or the notorious “help meet.”
• The word ezer is used only twenty other places in the entire Old Testament. And in every other instance the person being described is God himself, when you need him to come through for you desperately (Deut 33:26, 29; Ps 121:1-2; Ps 20:1-2; Ps 33:20; Ps 115:9-11) 
• Most of the contexts are life and death, by the way, and God is your only hope. Your ezer. If he is not there beside you … you are dead. A better translation therefore of ezer would be “lifesaver.” Kenegdo means alongside, or opposite to, a counterpart.
• You see, the life God calls us to is not a safe life. Ask any of the friends of God from the Old Testament. Ask any of the friends of God in the New Testament. God calls us to a life involving frequent risks and many dangers. Why else would we need him to be our ezer? You don’t need a lifesaver if your mission is to be a couch potato. You need an ezer when your life is in constant danger.
• These words reminds us that woman has been entrusted with the life of her husband.  She is to adventure through life by his side, standing by him even at his darkest hour.  With our her, he is lost.

Excerpts from Captivating, John & Stasi Eldridge, chapter two, "What Eve Alone Can Tell"/Session Two

I have always said, since I married my husband, "I AM HIS RADAR".  Until recently, I understood why I would say that.  I always knew that there was more to me than just being his companion, the one who cleans up after him, who puts his things away, who makes his dinner, who washes his clothes, who cares for his sons, who cleans his home, who listens when he is stressed, who prays for him, who cares for him when he is sick... this list can go on....  

I AM JOINED WITH HIM TO ADVENTURE THROUGH LIFE BY HIS SIDE (not in the back seat) HOLDING HIM UP, ENCOURAGING HIM ON, SPEAKING INTO HIS LIFE ALL THE BLESSINGS AND PROMISES OF GOD, WATCHING AND DISCERNING WHAT COMES TO HIM, BEING HIS RADAR - MAKING SURE NO ONE HURTS HIM, MAKING SURE HE DOESN'T WALK INTO HARMS WAY AND IF ANYTHING DOES COME TO HURT OR HARM - I AM NOT TO TURN MY BACK ON HIM, WALK AWAY OR SAY "I TOLD YOU"...

 My husband is a very busy man with his own business to run, many responsibilities in ministry, a wife to attend, children to love on and train up; I have been so selfish in ignoring the fact that he too "needs help" and "gets tired". There are so many things I do not see in his day that, knowingly he hides away. I am reminded, once again, that I am his EZER KENEGDO.   When he sees me, it should be like a breath of fresh air for him.  Our home should be a place of peace and joy that he can walk into.  What I do in our home (homemaking), is just part of the adventure. When he says, "can you do me a favor?", I will respond joyfully because he depends on my help.  If he can't come to me, then who will he go to? 

Will you be your husbands EZER KENEGDO?  Will you dare to ADVENTURE THROUGH LIFE by HIS SIDE?

For His Glory and By His Grace,

Monica

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