The Truth About Modesty

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Modesty? hmm..

What do you think of when you hear Modesty?  Skirts? Dresses?

I have been recently reading a lot about modesty and it got me to thinking... am I modest? Should I be wearing skirts everyday?  With the thousand other questions that followed, I went and spoke to my husband.  I asked him how he defines modesty and what does modesty mean to him.

Before I continue I want to let you know I am the only girl in my family with three brothers and I am the only woman in my home with four males (and one male cat).  So I thought, I really need to get to the bottom of this whole modesty thing.

As I was saying I spoke to my husband.  He really did not define modesty for me, instead he explained it. My husband I must say is such a man of God.  I truly admire him because when he shares his heart he is careful not to offend.  He knows how to approach.  He explained to me that when he looks at me and what I wear, the first thing that he thinks of is how other women will see an example in me.  He said that I am example for the women and young ladies in our church and the women around me.  He then went on to say that I set an example for our SONS!

In I Timothy 2:9 and10 we are told: “I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes but with good works, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.”

My husband never came out and said, Monica I want you to wear skirts all the time, no, he gave me greater insight to what modesty really is.


The key to understanding what constitutes modesty in dress is to examine the attitudes and intents of the heart. Those whose hearts are inclined toward God will make every effort to dress modestly, decently, and appropriately. Those whose hearts are included toward self will dress in a manner designed to draw attention to themselves with little or no regard for the consequences to themselves or others. 


Modesty starts with our heart and relationship with God.  What good is it if I wear dresses and skirts and cover myself up, but I inside of me there is anger and bitterness.  What good is it to dress in this manner if I constantly yell at my children and have an attitude with my husband (no self -control), if I cannot forgive those around me....

IF I CAN NOT SET AN EXAMPLE WITH MY ATTITUDE, HEART and LIFE.


WHAT GOOD IS IT TO DRESS THIS WAY IF MY WORKS ARE NO GOOD! 

My way of dressing cannot cover up what goes on in my heart, in my home nor in my marriage.

Modesty:  
1. free from vanity, egotism, boastfulness, conceit or great pretensions. 2. propriety in behavior(conduct), speech, dress


So interesting that even the dictionary tells us that modesty has to do with our conduct and our character.


If my heart is inclined towards godliness, everything about me: what I do, what I say and what I wear will reflect God. 


Modesty in dress is simply, and should be, a reflection of modesty and godliness of the heart.  This should be our greatest desire.  I do not just want to dress modestly to please God and my husband, but I want to reflect that the fruit of God dwells in me and pours out of me on a daily basis.

¹² Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity. ~ 1 Timothy 4:12

Modesty is humility expressed in the way we dress.  Modesty is the desire to serve those around us. ~ CJ Mahaney

Jerry Bridges calls good works – “deliberate deeds that are helpful to others” (The Practice of Godliness). Our good works are acts of kindness that are evidence of our salvation (that Christ lives in us). 

 CJ Mahaney asks these questions, that I ask myself and that you can meditate on as well.

Which do you think about more – shopping or good works?

What are you most noticed for – what you wear or your kind deeds?

What is most eye-catching about you – your clothing or your character?

Bottom line is this:  I am not saying do not wear skirts, dresses, etc.  I believe that what we wear needs to reflect God in our life.  I believe that we need glorify and honor God with how we dress. I believe that we need to honor our husbands with how we dress.  I also believe that we need to glorify God in our conduct, speech and life.   The first place to do this is in the ministry that God gave me called HOME.  My conduct and speech towards my husband must not be boastful, filled with "me's", but should be humble and submissive.  My conduct and speech toward my children should bring them closer to God and be an example for them. 

May all we do: serve our husbands and children, keep no record of wrongs, especially when our husbands say something that, honestly they do not mean, or when our children do something wrong or misbehave; be a joyful wife and mother, even when things don't go as planned; maintain a home where God's presence dwells, even when we have had a rough day.... honor God and bring Him glory.

Before we go out to change our entire wardrobe in our closet, let's do a heart check...

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails... ~ 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Living By His Grace,

Monica

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